I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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