love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
