All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i barfeds in our rink
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
