Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
