i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We got so high we made milksteak
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
