at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
