I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize