You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
