it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
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They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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