she peed on how many people?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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