It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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