I am puke
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
