ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have fence marks all over my body
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
