Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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