You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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