Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This toilet bowl is my home.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
