After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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