i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
