If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
