i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
