there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize