You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
