It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
