I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
