obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
