Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
