I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
