I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
