I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
