Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
