you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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