We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
