he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I believe in your delicious
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
