butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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