the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
