Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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