i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
