I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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