I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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