I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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