I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
