what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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