I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize