Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
