I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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