we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
