I think I died a long time ago.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have already put on my inside pants.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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