This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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