then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
