I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize