I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
where am i from again
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
