I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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