Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
