Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
