my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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