D3 body, D1 cock
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
