it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
