Your mouth is God's brothel.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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