So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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