Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
