I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
