they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
