And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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