Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
