Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
jump out the window naked night went bad
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
